A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-Four-Hundred-And-Fifty-Four

The short story I am working on has taken a rather odd turn, but I am feeling as if it is also clarifying where to go for me.  I mean, in some sense it is a huge mess right now.  I think that certain of the developments in the story at the moment might feel unearned and over the top in a way, like the author just reached down and shook the ant farm up to change things around, but I also think it might be the way this story needs to be, at least right now.  I am still working on a first draft, and that is often about finding out what you need to say, what the story is really and what is necessary for it to be told fully.  Also, I can't help but recognize that this kind of interference by the author can be seen as a form of metafiction, especially in a Brechtian framework where the point is largely to puncture the artifice and make the audience recognize the unreality of the depiction.  Even more, though, these shifts have given me a bit of clarity in terms of the elements I want to work towards now, even the series of events that is unfolding right now and how they can connect to earlier elements introduced to the story that might feel neglected so far.  It may be that I am going to need to step out of the tale in another way by the end.  I suspect that might be where it is going, though I am unclear what exactly that will mean at present.  I am just focusing on what is right in front of me and allowing it to unfold and shape up as it does.  I don't know what will result, but the point is to allow it to happen.  Even if it is not the best thing I ever write, it has at least helped me to get to a point where I think I can write fiction as a regular part of my practice again.  That was the real goal of starting the piece, so I cannot help that I am thinking of it as a success already.  

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