A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-Two-Hundred-And-Forty-Six

Melissa and I spent much of today making the arrangements for Ann's funeral.  It went well, for the most part, but it is always difficult to do such things, and there were a few requests that were upsetting.  Ann remarried later in life, when Melissa was fully grown, and the daughter of her husband(who Ann told us she disliked and explicit8ly never considered a daughter) wants certain things that are upsetting to Melissa.  I was able to step in and express some of the concerns, but I know there are a few things that couldn't be helped and it bothers me a great deal that Melissa won't be able to see her Mother laid to rest without these elements.  The truth is, Perry, Ann's husband is a controlling jersey, to the point that one might call him an abuser, and it is clear that he forced Ann into the situation that made her last few years so distressing and uncomfortable.  A long while back, before her health condition had degenerated, Melissa and I wanted to make a plan for Ann's long term care and Perry refused to allow her to talk with us.  His response was violent and cruel and I know that his behavior is the reason Ann didn't receive the kind of care she needed when it was time, that her last years were not all that happy, and even suspect that she might still be alive if not for his misdeeds.  What is more, he abandoned her as soon as she needed care herself, leaving Volumbus to live with his daughter instead.  He could have stayed in the house here in town and been close enough to visit Ann regularly,, but instead moved away and alnost never visited, but wants us to treat him as a good man.  It is all quite upsetting, and I can only imagine how much it bothers Melissa.  She is handling it far better than I think I would.

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