A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-Two-Hundred-And-Thirty-Three

A third day of not smoking, and again I am doing alright, I think.  I am feeling a bit of nervous energy from the cravings, if I am honest, but I am doing alright with it in general right at the moment.  I know that I am going to allow myself to have a smoke at some point before I get to bed tonight, but I plan to wait on that for a bit.  It does not really do a great deal to help, to be honest, and that is kind of the point.  I am not looking for a single cigarette to quell my overall craving, but as a sort of way to recognize that a cigarette doesn't really help at all, doesn't solve the issue.  Rather, I am better off just going a bit without smoking and getting over the craving.  I don't want to be dependent on having one cigarette in the evening, and, indeed, I wouldn't be if it weren't for the reality that I had cigarettes remaining from my last pack.  I don't anticipate purchasing more in the future, so I won't have them for all that long, maybe a week or so.  I might slow down my consumption of them, one cigarette every few nights, but I am torn.  In part, that might be just a way to prolong things.  I will see how it goes, to be honest.  I am feeling good about how I am doing now, and I am certain I can make it through to the point where I can really say I am done.

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