Poem: It Cannot Be

It Cannot Be

Some of what was said then,
some of what I believed,
what I was promised,
some of it, at least,
 needs to be true,
doesn't it?  So much
was chosen, was done,
so many choices
were discarded,
can never be.
It is important
that something of it
is still the truth,
some promise fulfilled.
It is probably not,
it is probably impossible
for any of it to be
what it seemed to be,
what I trusted it would be,
even just a bit.
It is not that way.
I cannot accept that,
even knowing it is the truth,
it cannot be.  
If that is the truth,
everything was stolen,
everything is gone
or never was.
I want some kind of hope,
an ending that is not this,
that is not gloom.
I want a way forward,
but it cannot be
if nothing is there at all,
if the foundation 
was always an abscess.
What is there to say?
What can be done?
There needs to be a change,
but I am always told
I cannot create
the changes I need.

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