Poem: Do Not Offer An Alternative

Do Not Offer An Alternative

or speak of shifting the goal,
of changing what is wanted.
Those are impossibilities,
are diminishments, 
require acknowledging
what cannot be accepted,
what will be too much.
I know what is true.
Do not think I don't know.
I am not asking for anything
that is at all realistic:
I know that.  But, I know
what is true inside,
I know what can shift
and what will only break,
what cannot be otherwise
if I am to be.  I am sick of it,
am sick of being here,
but what can change
is not the "I" part,
not with this.  Anything
that is who I am,
that is the same "I",
any version of me
that is who I want to be
has these same qualities,
is in the same pursuit
and will not accept
how things are.
Anyone who does
is not who I wish to be,
is a shadow.  I can't explain it.
If there is to be help,
it must accept the premise,
it must acknowledge
the truth of certain needs,
needs to offer a way forward
that leads towards what is wanted
by who I am, not by another
who stands behind my eyes
when I am not here any more.

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