A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-One-Hundred-And-Ninety-Five

I am thinking a lot about how to write the essay on vampires and antisemitism that I have been researching and conceptualizing for so long, now.  I have made several attempts, but I found the framing difficult.  I think, however, the deeper issue is one of fear.  Part of that fear is that I am dealing with some sensitive subjects, and there is a potential for things to be misunderstood or misconstrued.  For example, it is important to discuss the connections between antisemitism and hemophobia as this can color the interpretation of the sexualized elements in Dracula.  I recognize that this is a nuanced and fraught topic, and I don't want to be misunderstood as being disparaging of queer identities because of this.  I am aware that Dracula and other vampires are often interpreted through a queer lens, and I am suggesting that aspects of Stoker's work which lend themselves to those interpretations are actually intentional allusions to antisemitic tropes.  That, even today, there are many conspiracy theorists who will blame the "gay agenda," or, more recently, "trans agenda" on Jewish efforts to "weaken the white race," demonstrates that these ideas still persist, but I see the potential for the claims to be inflammatory, and so I am attempting to find the right approach for that.  The truth is, vampires are important to people, are personal and meaningful, and I understand that, but I also feel the undercurrent of hate that is present in the origin of the contemporary manifestation of these monsters.  What does it mean that a symbol of hate is now embraced in that way, especially when it is done without ever acknowledging or addressing the centrality of that hate?  I am afraid that no one wants to address that question.  I don't want to feel the way I did when I was a college professor and my school refused to respond after a student raised an accusation of blood libel in one of my classes.  I do not want to find myself that alone ever again.  Of course, though, I must find a way to wrote the essay, despite my fears, I must.

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