Poem: I Caught Myself Soon Enough

I Caught Myself Soon Enough

that I did stray too far,
and now I am returned
to the intended course,
am back on task, again,
diligent, dutiful, dedicated,
all those things and more,
but just for now, just because
I know it must be done,
or should be done,
is due to be done,
is my chosen task,
is what I promised myself
I would do, would finish.
I don't know if it matters.
I want it to matter,
but I am not certain.
It matters to me.
I wish that could be enough.
I am doing it, am dedicated to it,
but maybe that is a waste.
I don't want this time
to be only an indulgence,
to be stealing away from the world
for what only matters to me.
I don't want to be that selfish,
but I know I am here.
It would be no good
to not be here, to stop.
I know that would harm me,
though it is not any good to go on
with any of this
if it is only for myself.

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