A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-One-Hundred-And-Fourteen

I am quite excited to announce that my new bipap machine finally arrived today, which should mean that, at last, I will be able to get some real sleep, the sort that allows a person to wake up rested and refreshed.  I have to wait one more night to be able to use it, unfortunately, as it needs to be calibrated and adjusted and I am told I need to be taught how to use it (though I have used similar machines for many years).  Seeing as I already have an appointment for the morning, it is not too big of a deal, though it would be best if I could get it setup immediately.  Still, after so long being without real sleep, it feels like I am on the verge of a miracle.  When I was first diagnosed with sleep apnea and started using a cpap, I felt an incredible change.  It was not only that I was no longer feeling exhausted all the time, though that was a tremendous shift itself, there was a shift in the quality of experiences, in my ability to think and attend what I experienced.  My senses seemed brighter and the world was more alive.  The energy boost I felt also brought other positive changes, shifts in my eating habits and activity level.  I am hoping that I will have similar shifts when I get the new machine running, that it might lead to improvements in other areas of my life, but the thing that I am most excited about is being able to lie down and go to sleep without the fear that I have had each night for so long now that I might not wake myself in time to breath or that my heart might stop.  It would be nice not to have even this single night remaining, of course, but at least I know for certain that things are finally changing in this regard, that tomorrow night should be different.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Writer's Notebook, Day Two-Hundred-And-Fifty

Each of the three pieces I wrote today was a bit of a struggle to get going, if I am honest.  That happens, as I have mentioned, and my answer is generally to just wait it out, and the results vary.  A lot of the time, if I am really stuck, I might try to force something out, often it winds up being a bit meta, with me writing about being stuck without much in terms of inspiration, and it feels a bit like I am working scales in a way.  All the aesthetic decisions are there, they just don't always have a lot of purpose behind them, and that is fine in that context.  Essentially, I am just forcing myself to do the work, and getting it done, and I am showing myself that I can and will do it even if inspiration never strikes.  This can often take pressure off, and that lack of pressure opens up creative thinking and inspiration. Now, that is a fine thing for me to do, and I am likely to use that approach again many times in the future, but today I felt that I want...
Read more

Le Guin, Steering The Craft, Chapter Five: Adjectives and Adverbs (Exercise Five, Chastity)

A note of apology for my lateness with this.  I had expected to have time earlier in the day, but it was not to be, alas.  Anyhow, I am still a bit nervous about this exercise, though it is clearly of significant import to Le Guin, as she points out that it is the only exercise that she has given to all of her workshops.  That, of course, does not alter my feelings about it, excepting that I am aware of it as something valuable and worth doing, so the fact that it is a bit daunting might well be seen, through that light, as a promise of reward, perhaps.  The more difficult the task, the more one has to gain, at least by some logic... Exercise Five: Chastity Mr. Torino was in charge.  He had his way.  It was the way.  Desktops are clean.  Nothing but work.  No pictures: not your kids; not your girl or wife; not (as Allen recounted) your car.   None of that.  No plants.  No cartoons.  That is for home, this is work....
Read more

A Writer's Notebook, Two-Thousand-And-Fifty-Nine

I have been thinking about how I can discuss certain aspects of my poetry and the choices I make as a writer.  In particular, I tend to write without as much reliance on sensory details and descriptions, instead choosing more abstract depictions.  This is something that I know many writers would call an odd choice, as specificity seems inherently to demand the application of detail, but I tend to be a bit hesitant about relying on depictions that utilize the senses, as I find that approach somewhat problematic.  For one thing, sensory description is always going to be less than universal, and not only because of the reality that there are individuals who lack one or more sense.  In many ways, for me, the deeper problem is one related to language itself.  Our use of language creates our experiences in a very real way, though I can't necessarily offer a full explanation of what I mean by that right here, but using a word for an object bestows qualities on it....
Read more