A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Two

I am getting down to the wire for the play submission and I haven't done enough work on my script yet.  In some ways, that is not unusual.  I often find myself allowing deadlines to stalk me, as though I enjoy the pressure that is created when I have only just enough time for the task at hand.  A part of me rebels against starting until it is truly necessary, and I wish I could break that habit for myself.  It is the same thing that I do each day with my poetry, where I wait until the end of the day and do all the work before it is too late.  It is funny, I suppose, to say I am a procrastinator when anyone who reads this blog or is otherwise familiar with my writing habits would see that I am also quite productive, but the truth is, that is a result of my structuring deadlines for myself.  I use my procrastination, or work around it, perhaps.  I know that, for me, procrastinating is often a response to the stress I feel at starting work.  I am often flustered, not certain where to begin or how, and this results in my feeling anxious and avoiding the work.  It is not a desire to not do the work, not really, it is more that I just feel afraid in some way.  However, the fear of missing the deadline looms larger, and so I do get to work, eventually.  The fact that it is now after two in the morning, though, shows that this approach is quite imperfect.  I think I will be able to get the work I need to get done completed, but I know it would be much better if I could find a way to motivate myself towards starting earlier in the future.

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