A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-One-Hundred-And-One

I am feeling a great deal of stress around publishing right now, though it is not the same as much of what I have expressed in the past.  This is much more convoluted and connects more to other situations in my life.  I have a very strong need right now to build something that feels real and which I believe is mine and comes from my own efforts.  For me, the only thing that I can imagine satisfying this need, at this point in my life, is through my writing.  It is a matter of feeling a fulfillment that comes from the effort I have invested already.  I tried for a long time to focus on other things in my personal life, but they keep getting more and more warped by the way others are treating me, and now it feels like the only way to regain control over that is through building my career.  I need something to start going well because so many things just seem to have gone wrong in ways that can't be rectified without shifts that only seem possible if I can find my own path towards success.

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