A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-And-Thirty-Two

I so many things I want to write about, but it is often difficult to do it.  I want to write about my disability, about being fat, about being sexually assaulted by another boy in high school, about the time a student in a class I was teaching made an accusation of blood libel and how the school refused to make a comment, but I get scared.  I worry I won't be heard, that I will speak of something that matters so deeply and no one will hear me or care, or, worse, will respond with refutation or denial.  Even when I think of my Dracula essay, that fear comes forward.  I am willing to take the risk, at least I think I am, but when I go to write, often I will freeze.  I need to keep going, to push through these feelings, but I am not certain how.  Perhaps, as I have heard in similar situations, acknowledging my difficulty s the first step in that process.



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