A Writer's Notebook, Day Nine-Hundred-And-Thirty-One

 It has been a rather draining day, again, mostly for reasons not related to my writing.  I am feeling very much that I don't have a lot of support beyond Melissa right now, and she is having a great many difficulties of her own as well.  I am not good at keeping on a positive face or covering up when I am feeling bad, and I often feel that I am burdening her, as she does not have the power to change things, just as I cannot fix everything wrong that she is dealing with.  It is good to have her support, and I am glad to be able to provide her with mine, to feel I can be there for a person who matters as much as she does to me.  I know that she wishes she could do things to help me, as well, and I appreciate that desire, but I also see how frustrating it is for her dealing with me.  I am not certain what to do.  I can't just roll over and allow things to be this way, not only in my writing career, but in other areas as well, yet the changes that would help always seem to be out of reach.  I had thought, for a time, I was getting there, but now, everything that I once felt optimistic about, efforts and plans Melissa and I made over years, have very different implications now.  The home we bought does not seem like a place where we will ever be able to find peace or happiness, and now it feels as if we will have no options but to stay here.

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