A Writer's Notebook, Day Nine-Hundred-And-Forty

I reached 140 rejections on submittable today and it is hitting me.  I've had many things that have had me down this week, but the truth is, the only thing I realistically believe could change, right now, that would really make me feel different would be getting work published.  What I mean is, many of the situations I am dealing with are not things that I can see changing soon, and I cannot get out of them.  For example, Melissa's mother is not well and we are in charge of managing her affairs right now, which has been stressful, especially since we have not been able to visit her nursing home since the pandemic started.  Things with my family are very fraught, and have caused a lot of pain.  While I want to make things better with them, I know it is not an easy or quick change.  The point is, I need some kind of boost, some evidence that things in my life can go right in a meaningful sense.  I am not sure how else to put it.  I am just at a point where I don't know what to say or do.  I need something to do that will make me feel I am making progress and not just failing.  

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