A Writer's Notebook, Day Seven-Hundred-And-Sixteen

 It is clear from the time of this posting that I was not able to get myself working earlier in the day.  That is something I am not glad about, but I am also aware that feeling a great shame or guilt over the issue would only make it harder to deal with the actual issue.  It is not a moral failing, it is simply a matter of getting myself on a better schedule, and I need to recognize that practical issue as separate from any guilt I might feel associated with the habit of not writing.  I spent a long time feeling guilt that I was not writing enough, and that was what wound up keeping me from doing more work, to a large extent.  There were, of course, other issues, but the guilt itself became a negative association with writing, and it was easier to ignore the issue altogether.  It is reasonable, of course, to feel a certain guilt at not writing, but that became a trap, and it is better to forgive that part of things and move forward to deal with the real problems that underlie the guilt.  The guilt is a result of the actual issue, not the thing itself.  So, tomorrow, I am going to, once more, attempt to get myself to work earlier in the day.  Even if it is later in the afternoon or early in the evening, I would take that as success.

I would have a very different response to all this if I were not still working each day, but I am continuing to create daily, though not at the same rate as before.  The fact that I am writing is more important than the amount or the timing, which are the areas that I am having difficulty with.  But, I wrote two poems today, beyond the work here, and continued work on the story I've been writing the past several weeks.  It is getting to be a bit longer than I had anticipated, but I am quite excited about it.  The ending is a bit tricky to manage, but I feel it is coming together well, and I am trusting the slow and methodical pace of the work, as it has allowed a lot more things to fall into place, I think.  I am hoping to finish it soon, though, and I am considering a few different ideas for what I might begin next.

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