A Writer's Notebook, Day Six-Hundred-And-Forty-Six

As I began to consider my blog entry for tonight, I was again finding it difficult to find what I want to write here.  It is easy for me to affirm my belief that these protests are not only necessary and righteous, but also that they represent the very best of our supposed national values.  I also have no difficulty condemning the response of the administration, the threats of military involvement, the grandstanding, all of it.  Still, there was a difficulty for me in being able to talk about these issues.  It seems clear that many people who our culture labels as white have this issue as well.  I have encountered this myself, as someone Jewish, when certain issues of anti-semitism or Jewish identity come up in conversation.  The subjects are often uncomfortable to discuss, and I know I have a great deal of fear that I might say the wrong thing or reveal some part of myself I had not  examined, but to not recognize those possibilities and be silenced by them is to miss the point of attempting to discuss and examine these issues.  Right now, there are a lot of clear steps towards action to take, but the deeper question is how do I live in my daily life with a greater awareness of the world as it exists for those I share it with.  The truth is, I cannot feel safe living under the "protecton" of an organization that has a record of killing people with witnesses pointing cameras at them, and not only shielding the individuals involved from harm, but also remaining unaffected as an institution.  That is not a problem that should upset any one segment of the population less because of a demographic difference, but the issue that it is happening in a pattern that involves minorities, and particularly black men, is an issue that is beyond that as well, and one that goes far deeper in America than just police brutality.  The fact is that this is personal to everyone, all of us are involved, whether we like it or not, as either victims or perpetrators, and anyone who doubts their own involvement is probably a perpetrator in some way.

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