A Writer's Notebook, Day Six-Hundred-And-Sixty-Eight

I am again thinking about the balance between my own interests and being conscious of, and active towards, the larger needs that exist in the world.  This is a direct concern for me in my pursuit as a writer, and is brought to the forefront in considering my issues getting work published.  I know that the publishing industry is biased and needs to diversify, and I recognize that, in many ways, I am not a representative of those changes.  At the same time, for me to sit back and not work towards building my career as a published author is not a sacrifice I can make.  How can I help anyone if I am not taking care of myself?  But, is my want to succeed in this capacity, when it is not a physical need, an overly selfish perspective?  In truth, I know how I would feel about myself if I were not pursuing my goals as a writer, and even if I were to choose to stop in some part of an effort to step aside for other voices, I would always believe it was quitting and would consider myself a failure as a result.  In the end, that would be self-destructive in a way
that also, when I consider how the issues in the publishing industry proliferate, would be largely symbolic.  I do not think I am going to knock some other writer aside in that way, as the issues are much larger.  But I also cannot help but see that as a self-serving set of beliefs, though I am a bit relieved to consider that I am at least attempting to address this issue.  I can go back and forth, again and again, and it is still academic since I have no acceptances at present.  But, I have a lot that is out for consideration, and I cannot help but wonder about these questions.

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