Poem: Critique
Critique
That is no way to tell
a story, it had endings
and beginnings all over
the place, but the middle
was randomness
about the dogs
of the main character's
uncle, who was barely
a character at all,
and the dogs
were neither well presented
as dogs, nor personified.
The whole bit about the fire
was not explained,
nor was the appearance
of the glowing sky fish. It was
fine that it went all over,
that it was weird, but
it would have been better
if, at least, the boy
got the girl, even if she was
really a leech
that had been transformed
by withcraft.
That is no way to tell
a story, it had endings
and beginnings all over
the place, but the middle
was randomness
about the dogs
of the main character's
uncle, who was barely
a character at all,
and the dogs
were neither well presented
as dogs, nor personified.
The whole bit about the fire
was not explained,
nor was the appearance
of the glowing sky fish. It was
fine that it went all over,
that it was weird, but
it would have been better
if, at least, the boy
got the girl, even if she was
really a leech
that had been transformed
by withcraft.
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