A Writer's Notebook, Day Four-Hundred-And-Twenty-Eight

Though, as I have said many times, I don't really feel that I can judge the merits of my poems, much of the time, and certainly not directly after writing them, that does not change the fact that I go through periods of feeling that my work is going well.  Often, this is a result of the ease of the work, but that is not the only factor.  Today, for example, I am feeling very good about my work largely because it feels as if I wrote poems of real variety.  Part of this is a fear that I have of falling into some sort of rut, especially since I am writing so many poems.  At times, it is easy to find myself stuck.  It is possible to write ten or twenty poems that are really different attempts to get one idea on the page, for example, or it could easily be that I fall into a place where I am repeating the same poetic structure or device in a way that feels repetitious.

Today, though, I felt that each poem moved into a different space from those that came before it.  It was not always easy to write each one.  I certainly spent some time staring at a blank screen, but I still feel a strong positive sense around what I accomplished.  Now, I want to be clear, this is not about reading the poems and thinking about them on that level.  Honestly, I usually read a poem over a few times as I finish to clean it up, but after that I pretty much put it aside.  At some point, I will look at it for revision, when I am preparing to submit it or considering it for a manuscript or reading, but generally, I find it best not to keep fiddling with most poems right off.  Coming back later, I can look at it with a greater sense of distance.  That is certainly enhanced by the volume of work I am producing.  Even a week or two after writing a specific poem, I have created enough new work afterwards that I have a certain objectivity.  The point is, though, my sense of satisfaction is related more to the feelings I have in creating the work, not as a way to judge the poems, though I hope that their is an overlap, even if I am not aware of it. 


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