A Writer's Notebook, Day Four-Hundred-And-Twenty
It seems that I am remaining at eight poems a day. I feel quite good about this, honestly, and it seems to be largely making up for lost time, in some sense, as I had not increased output in quite a bit. As well, I feel that the work I am doing remains consistent. I mean by this not that it is all of the same quality, but rather that I am not finding myself stuck or lost, but am able to find inspiration for poems of a wide variety. Of course, some are written quickly, and some are more studied, but in the end, I am not finding that by writing so much I lose anything, at least not at this moment. Rather, it often feels that I get to a point where I have burned off all the excess and must just rely upon something pure.
I think this is something I have attempted to express before, but it is not an easy thing for me to explain. In many ways, it often feels that the ideas I come to the page with, while often good, are the easy ones. I mean, they are ideas that float into my mind and get stuck, but their are also ideas buried deeper down, one's that I may not always notice or turn towards as I start to write. However, at some point, I have worked through the obvious and these others remain waiting. At this point, I think my mind is also trained to keep working enough that when I get to that point, I don't find resistance or difficulty, but instead the idea seems obvious, at that moment. Sure, it may be I have to sit a few minutes to get started, but it is only just a pause, a collecting of thoughts.
This is not to say that I don't have false starts or difficulties at times. Many poems begin their life with me writing for a while and realizing I have nothing of merit or value, erasing it and starting again. This is often a necessary part of that process for me. Yet, even though it is not always an easy thing to start work, I am glad to feel that I have access to these ideas when I need them. I feel that some part of my mind has been trained to know that it is time for work, and thus is readied to do the job that is necessary at that time. As well, I also feel that much of the time, as I mentioned yesterday, their is work happening behind the scenes. It is similar to the way that a person who plays tetris for several hours can find their mind keeps playing the game, imagining the blocks falling and moving them around on a mental screen. Working with words in the way I must to write poetry, and for the amount of time I am often working, I find that language gets into the back of my head. Part of my brain is imagining how words can be fit together, even when I am not thinking on it consciously. As a result, I often have poems that are partly crafted in my mind, even if I did not think on them directly.
In the end, the amount of work I am doing has changed the work itself, as well as my own relationship to that process. It is inevitable, of course, and I am sure that these changes will continue as I do more. For now, I am glad to find myself being so productive, especially since I feel the work is actually often quite good, even if I am writing so much of it. It would do me no good to be producing so much if none of it were any good, though I am certain anyone could write at least one good poem if they wrote a thousand or more in such short order, and I think even one good poem might be worth it. However, I feel fortunate to be able to say that my average is quite a bit higher than that, at least based on the opinions of others whom I trust.
I think this is something I have attempted to express before, but it is not an easy thing for me to explain. In many ways, it often feels that the ideas I come to the page with, while often good, are the easy ones. I mean, they are ideas that float into my mind and get stuck, but their are also ideas buried deeper down, one's that I may not always notice or turn towards as I start to write. However, at some point, I have worked through the obvious and these others remain waiting. At this point, I think my mind is also trained to keep working enough that when I get to that point, I don't find resistance or difficulty, but instead the idea seems obvious, at that moment. Sure, it may be I have to sit a few minutes to get started, but it is only just a pause, a collecting of thoughts.
This is not to say that I don't have false starts or difficulties at times. Many poems begin their life with me writing for a while and realizing I have nothing of merit or value, erasing it and starting again. This is often a necessary part of that process for me. Yet, even though it is not always an easy thing to start work, I am glad to feel that I have access to these ideas when I need them. I feel that some part of my mind has been trained to know that it is time for work, and thus is readied to do the job that is necessary at that time. As well, I also feel that much of the time, as I mentioned yesterday, their is work happening behind the scenes. It is similar to the way that a person who plays tetris for several hours can find their mind keeps playing the game, imagining the blocks falling and moving them around on a mental screen. Working with words in the way I must to write poetry, and for the amount of time I am often working, I find that language gets into the back of my head. Part of my brain is imagining how words can be fit together, even when I am not thinking on it consciously. As a result, I often have poems that are partly crafted in my mind, even if I did not think on them directly.
In the end, the amount of work I am doing has changed the work itself, as well as my own relationship to that process. It is inevitable, of course, and I am sure that these changes will continue as I do more. For now, I am glad to find myself being so productive, especially since I feel the work is actually often quite good, even if I am writing so much of it. It would do me no good to be producing so much if none of it were any good, though I am certain anyone could write at least one good poem if they wrote a thousand or more in such short order, and I think even one good poem might be worth it. However, I feel fortunate to be able to say that my average is quite a bit higher than that, at least based on the opinions of others whom I trust.
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