A Writer's Notebook, Day Four-Hundred-And-Seventeen
I think of the pace of my writing at present in very positive terms, and I know it has been part of a positive transformation for me, in larger terms than just my writing life. But, I also know that writing so much has many dimensions, and I think it can be worth considering, at times, the potential for this to go awry, or become in some way counterproductive for me.
First, I do want to acknowledge the general danger of having an ego stake in writing so much. It is likely that this is not going to be sustainable forever, when I miss a day or week for some reason, I don't want it to become a reason not to keep writing after, whether that is resuming my regiment or otherwise. I've had times when I stopped writing for long periods, and I do not really want to go back to that, which is one reason for a regiment of this sort in the first place, though I know, ironically, it can help establish the type of all or nothing thinking that could cause me to become stalled in the future.
More direct concerns exist, though. Some of these are nebulous. For example, it can be rather helpful that by writing so much I keep from making the work precious, but that can also lead to not taking the task seriously enough. At present, though I write so much, I still am putting that effort in,
but I can see how that shift could occur. In part, this could result from the fact that writing so much often just requires me to just think of an idea in the moment. This extemporaneous approach could easily lead to not taking the task as anything more than a few moments of minor work, in the end trivializing the work.
By writing so much, I can also imagine I might be missing out on something else. I may be writing a certain kind of work and not writing some other type of poetry that might result if I was slower and more methodical, making much more deliberate and calculated choices. Of course, that kind of possibility always exists, but there is a level at which I do think about what it means that I am writing so much and whether I am somehow diluting my work by spreading my energy across so much of it. I don't tend to think so, at least not at this moment, but it is a question I always consider.
Really, there are many other possible ways that I could probably think through in which my current writing habits may not be as positive as I would like to believe, but I do think they are working for me at the moment, and I think my awareness of the potential harms is a sign that I haven't succumbed to them at this moment. Writing daily is important for me, and right now it is one of the things that has kept me feeling as if I have purpose and meaning in my day.
First, I do want to acknowledge the general danger of having an ego stake in writing so much. It is likely that this is not going to be sustainable forever, when I miss a day or week for some reason, I don't want it to become a reason not to keep writing after, whether that is resuming my regiment or otherwise. I've had times when I stopped writing for long periods, and I do not really want to go back to that, which is one reason for a regiment of this sort in the first place, though I know, ironically, it can help establish the type of all or nothing thinking that could cause me to become stalled in the future.
More direct concerns exist, though. Some of these are nebulous. For example, it can be rather helpful that by writing so much I keep from making the work precious, but that can also lead to not taking the task seriously enough. At present, though I write so much, I still am putting that effort in,
but I can see how that shift could occur. In part, this could result from the fact that writing so much often just requires me to just think of an idea in the moment. This extemporaneous approach could easily lead to not taking the task as anything more than a few moments of minor work, in the end trivializing the work.
By writing so much, I can also imagine I might be missing out on something else. I may be writing a certain kind of work and not writing some other type of poetry that might result if I was slower and more methodical, making much more deliberate and calculated choices. Of course, that kind of possibility always exists, but there is a level at which I do think about what it means that I am writing so much and whether I am somehow diluting my work by spreading my energy across so much of it. I don't tend to think so, at least not at this moment, but it is a question I always consider.
Really, there are many other possible ways that I could probably think through in which my current writing habits may not be as positive as I would like to believe, but I do think they are working for me at the moment, and I think my awareness of the potential harms is a sign that I haven't succumbed to them at this moment. Writing daily is important for me, and right now it is one of the things that has kept me feeling as if I have purpose and meaning in my day.
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