A Writer's Notebook, Day Two-Hundred-And-Ninety-One
I am feeling very good about the work I am doing these days. I've enough poems that I think are good to have a full length collection, compiled a shorter set into a very nice chapbook manuscript, and am continuing to write each day. Today, I wrote three new poems at least two of which I feel quite good about. The third was largely me venting, but it still may have value, though I tend to be dismissive about such pieces in my own work. Writing them is often just a way of clearing the lines so I can get to the good stuff.
All that being said, I received a rejection today from a journal, and that is always a bit painful. First, the work I am sharing matters greatly to me so these responses come as something very personal. At the same time, I know I am getting a form rejection, which I understand is how these things need to be handled when dealing with the volume of submissions that come in. In this case, the rejection started with an encouraging comment that suggest my work was in the right direction, but the latter statement apologizing for not being able to send out personal letters makes it seem doubtful that the initial comment is anything of value or meaning. Really, how am I supposed to take a comment saying that the work is good if it comes in a generic rejection letter? If it is a letter sent to everyone being rejected, that makes it impossible for the first comment to be sincere, as none of the letter is directed at me or my work in specific. What is more, I sort of would prefer, at times, to be told something negative, rather than just that my work is good and I should keep sending it out, which makes me think of the Einstein comment about insanity being repeating the same action and expecting a different outcome.
Of course, I know that their is a limit to how much work can be accepted. I don't even have an issue, when I consider it rationally, with being rejected. I just wish that their was advice that didn't boil down to "keep writing and sending out work and hoping something happens," because that really doesn't feel like advice at all. If I were being told my work was not good, that would be very different, but I have been told, in actual personal comments from editors, agents, and others, that the work is very good, and that I should not change it, but should send it to someone else. I know that these individuals mean well, and I am very glad for their support and help, but it becomes quite frustrating from this end, because it leaves me with no clear plan of action for progress. It becomes a sort of treadmill of rejection, where I cannot move forward but am sending out the same work over and over, hoping something will change that I am not in control of.
That is the nature of it, though, I suppose. In the end, it is the only advice anyone has, and it makes me think that I should just accept that what I want is insane, that getting there will require a sort of crazed mindset that I know is not healthy, but which may be required. Maybe that is not true, but it can feel that way when, especially when you are dealing with such schizophrenic responses that simultaneously applaud the work while casting it aside.
Now, I want to be clear, I harbor no ill feelings towards those who are sending me these rejections. From their side, it is not personal, and they are attempting to be supportive and encouraging. I am sure it can be soul crushing for some to be in the position of having to send out so many rejections with the knowledge that they will be dashing the hopes of talented writers with work that is meritorious, but is not, for one reason or another, a fit. That is, I am certain, incredibly difficult, and I don't want to give the impression that I do not appreciate those who do that work. I see such people as my allies, even when they are not able to accept my work. However, I am still human and it gets frustrating. And I know the only response I have is to keep going in spite of that frustration, and whatever hurt the rejection raises needs to be pushed aside. I mean, what else am I going to do, quit? After so many years working on my writing, that would be truly crazy.
All that being said, I received a rejection today from a journal, and that is always a bit painful. First, the work I am sharing matters greatly to me so these responses come as something very personal. At the same time, I know I am getting a form rejection, which I understand is how these things need to be handled when dealing with the volume of submissions that come in. In this case, the rejection started with an encouraging comment that suggest my work was in the right direction, but the latter statement apologizing for not being able to send out personal letters makes it seem doubtful that the initial comment is anything of value or meaning. Really, how am I supposed to take a comment saying that the work is good if it comes in a generic rejection letter? If it is a letter sent to everyone being rejected, that makes it impossible for the first comment to be sincere, as none of the letter is directed at me or my work in specific. What is more, I sort of would prefer, at times, to be told something negative, rather than just that my work is good and I should keep sending it out, which makes me think of the Einstein comment about insanity being repeating the same action and expecting a different outcome.
Of course, I know that their is a limit to how much work can be accepted. I don't even have an issue, when I consider it rationally, with being rejected. I just wish that their was advice that didn't boil down to "keep writing and sending out work and hoping something happens," because that really doesn't feel like advice at all. If I were being told my work was not good, that would be very different, but I have been told, in actual personal comments from editors, agents, and others, that the work is very good, and that I should not change it, but should send it to someone else. I know that these individuals mean well, and I am very glad for their support and help, but it becomes quite frustrating from this end, because it leaves me with no clear plan of action for progress. It becomes a sort of treadmill of rejection, where I cannot move forward but am sending out the same work over and over, hoping something will change that I am not in control of.
That is the nature of it, though, I suppose. In the end, it is the only advice anyone has, and it makes me think that I should just accept that what I want is insane, that getting there will require a sort of crazed mindset that I know is not healthy, but which may be required. Maybe that is not true, but it can feel that way when, especially when you are dealing with such schizophrenic responses that simultaneously applaud the work while casting it aside.
Now, I want to be clear, I harbor no ill feelings towards those who are sending me these rejections. From their side, it is not personal, and they are attempting to be supportive and encouraging. I am sure it can be soul crushing for some to be in the position of having to send out so many rejections with the knowledge that they will be dashing the hopes of talented writers with work that is meritorious, but is not, for one reason or another, a fit. That is, I am certain, incredibly difficult, and I don't want to give the impression that I do not appreciate those who do that work. I see such people as my allies, even when they are not able to accept my work. However, I am still human and it gets frustrating. And I know the only response I have is to keep going in spite of that frustration, and whatever hurt the rejection raises needs to be pushed aside. I mean, what else am I going to do, quit? After so many years working on my writing, that would be truly crazy.
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