A Writer's Notebook, Day Two-Hundred-And-Eighty-Seven
It has been a strange day full of ups and downs, but I think that I got some good work done. First, I had an exchange with my friend, poet Freesia McKee, who has become my first reader lately, and she suggested that two pieces from last week are probably ready to go. I actually have about ten or so poems that I think are probably ready to go out, a small number comparatively, but it is growing. I'm not doing as much revision right now as I would like, but I have plenty of poems that are probably pretty close to done at this point, if I just sat down to work on them for a bit. It is a matter of having the time for that, while also maintaining the writing practice itself. As well, a part of me is afraid that revision takes a different mental process, and one that is not always helpful for writing new work.
To revise requires a level of critical evaluation that is good, but it is also a bit stifling. Consider that when writing a new poem, the goal is to not judge as it is coming out. That is not to say I don't consider quite carefully each word, but instead that the overall attitude is one of playing and experimenting without worrying or editorializing. The inner critic has to be shut up, or else it becomes a battle to even write one sentence. If I were to attempt writing a poem with that kind of nitpicking going on in my mind, I would not get a lot of work done in the first place. Indeed, I would probably be sitting here not writing, or maybe just writing a line and erasing it, then repeating that action again and again. No sentence would be good enough, ideas would be too silly, and on and on.
So, I couldn't write with that kind of attitude, but I need an amount of that to do the revision work. It is a matter of having the ability to look at a poem I've written from a certain distance and ask what I would think of it if I had read it, just encountering the piece for the first time. In essence, I try to think of it as not being my poem, to see it fresh and from a certain distance. I want to be able to see what that inner critic has to say, and to be open to the ideas in a way that is difficult if I am too close to the work. In essence, I need to get that inner critic looking at the work but without ego. This, of course, is not fully possible, but it is an ideal.
The point is that revision must invoke the very critical apparatus that is so dangerous to the work in that early stage. It is a different part of the brain which looks at the poem later and attempts to determine the refinements, changes, additions, etc. But, that part of the mind can be hard to shut up once it gets going, and I worry that I might not be able to quiet it enough to write a new piece without that influence. In the end, though, I am sure that is mostly an irrational fear, maybe covering up some block I have right now about revision in general. It might take a bit of practice, but I am sure I could swap back and forth if needed. I do intend to get to revision work soon, as my ten poems are nothing compared to the huge number that aren't completed, and many of them are works that I think already show a great deal of merit.
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