A Writer's Notebook, Day Two-Hundred-And-Ninety-Six

It is funny how changing my routine sometimes comes with a bit of a disruption, but not always the way I expect.  I did write four poems today, more or less.  The second poem I wrote this morning is not quite done.  It is a complicated piece and one that I don't know how to really finish at the moment.  I got into a very philosophical mode, and I feel quite good about the work generally, but I did not get all the way to the end, so it remains a fragment right now (albeit a rather long one). 

On top of that, I had a bit of trouble this evening and so I resorted to writing another of my poems about poetry, which I need to recognize as being of value, though I feel that they are often just the easy way out when I am stuck.  However, that is a very powerful thing to know.  It is easy to get bogged down, especially when I am doing so much, and have been putting work in on more than just the writing.  Indeed, I think what may have put me over the edge today was probably working to compile a chapbook. That took a lot of time and energy, in a way that surprises me, actually.  I had not expected it to be quite so sapping, really.  I think it is because I am attempting to create something cohesive that flows well between the poems, while the individual pieces are not directly connected.  At times, that is easy, if, for example, their are images or phrases that play well from one piece to the next, but often it takes a bit of a deeper consideration.  That felt very much like work, in a way that writing does not usually.

Of course, really, I think a lot of this is because I am pushing myself to do more writing, as well as the other work I am doing in order to get published.  Whenever I start to increase my output, I find their is a bit of an adjustment period.  That sometimes requires that I do find a way to sort of make it easier, for example by just writing something that is solely meant as an exercise to get the work done.  I don't usually wind up allowing myself to do that, but today, I knew it was a good thing, because I am in a place where I feel a bit overwhelmed.  The result of doing that: I cleared my head a bit and wrote a piece that I had been considering for a very long time.  A good reminder that none of it is a waste, even when the work does not feel authentic in some way.

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