A Writer's Notebook, Day Two-Hundred-And-Seventy-Three

I am not overwhelmingly happy with the work I did today.  I wrote three poems and started some notes for that play I am working on, exploring the issue I need to solve in order to write it.  The poems were alright, but nothing I am too excited about.  I think that may be me being harsh on myself, possibly, but I also recognize that the work I did today felt a bit like I was just getting it done and not like anything too inspired.

In the end, this is why I need to keep reminding myself that doing the work each day is what I can really be proud of.  I know, to some extent, that I can't control when I am inspired, really.  I can do the things that supply me with new ideas and keep myself going, and I can keep in shape, so to speak, by writing and doing other creative thinking, but I can't make an idea just happen all the time.  In some cases, sure, I can sit down and do the work and make something come, but in other cases, their is nothing much there, and I have to just do what I can.  Ironically, at such times, I have occasionally forced something out that gained traction and became something different, as if the inspiration grew out of the work, but that is rare for me, and not something I've ever been able to cultivate thus far.

The point, though, is that this is why I celebrate the fact that I've been sticking to the work, even at times like this when it feels like I am scraping to get anything done.  I am in the middle of a lot of other things and I understand all of that can take away from my creative energy, but I also am keeping going, even when I don't have a lot t to keep me going, and I think, in some ways, I am more proud of today, when I didn't have any real inspiration and I had to fight to get anything to happen, and yet I still managed to get some work done.  It may not represent my best output, but it shows me that I am truly committed to the practice now, in a way that feels incredibly significant and rewarding.

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