A Writer's Notebook, Day Forty-Seven
My word count for the twenty minutes today broke 1000 by a full 9 words. I feel like I am obsessing on just getting the word count, but that's a big thing. Tomorrow, though, I am intending to begin working for one hour a day on a new piece. One part of me wants to dictate it in a way, but another is prepared to just go with what comes out. I am not sure which will prevail, but it will all go down tomorrow. I am excited about it, really, and a part of me thinks that I may be able to crank out novels with speed. Maybe they will be in need of severe work, but that is still a lot farther than not having it written at all.
I also recognized something else, as well, about my writing today, as well as last night, which is that it can be a truly positive mood enhancer for me. Feeling that I have accomplished something, by writing, makes many other things that might trouble me feel far less important. I don't mean the major stuff, but the small things that might otherwise bother me more. Minor irritations of life that might momentarily upset me, but then I will write, not even anything connected, and just doing so changes my perspective and mood.
In part, it is that I do enjoy writing itself. Playing with language is an entertaining thing to do, and creating new ways of putting the words together on the page can be a thrill for me. As can discovering character and theme and even events in the story. It is all playful, even if it is still work. It is a pleasure for me, so it does make me happier that I have written. Realizing this is a huge thing, and it is a part of creating an understanding of my own need to keep producing work.
As well, though, their is that deeper layer of self-fulfillment. I am certain that I am capable of writing at a level that I am proud of, and I believe that what I write has the potential to be important in some way for others in the world. As such, I feel a strong sense of fulfillment in writing, even knowing that the work is just, at present, for myself. I don't believe that it will be for me, really, but that I am currently in the process of developing the work in isolation is fine.
The point is more that when I work I feel that I am contributing and moving towards a positive change. I am achieving my goals, even if not yet in any way external to myself. This is also why I am obsessed at present with the word count. While it is a purely technical tool for rating my progress, one that takes nothing but my proficiency with the physical act, albeit in connection to the speed of my composition, it does not make sense to judge a writer by this metric.
At the same time, though, in terms of the internal method of rating progress, it is useful for me to feel that I am achieving at a certain rate. First, it is one of the only metrics that does not relate to the actual content, and I don't wish to attempt to judge my own content at present, as the act of getting work done is the important thing to me, right at this moment. As well, the practical truth of writing so quickly is a factor in my thoughts. If I believed that I would be so slow as to not be able to complete a novel in less than a decade, each one is precious. It puts great pressure upon them, and does not allow for the potential to experiment in terms of distribution, for example.
As well, I can't believe that if I were to write four or five novels (assuming things continue as they do) in a short period, that I would not be quite good at writing them by the end, and probably have at least one that would be ready to go. I do not mean this in a way of suggesting that I am a genius, but that by writing many novels fast, I would imagine I would have to become better at it as well. It is only natural that we improve such skills through repetition.
Today, too, I thought through the first chapter of W/R in terms of how I wish to revise it. I plan to get into that in the morning, but I have a good outline of what I wish to do in mind already. In part, it is to bring back some information lost earlier, but it is also to help establish the desire of the protagonist in a more overt way.
Over all, I feel quite happy with my work and progress today. Tomorrow is my cat, Ulysses' birthday, so I am going to head off now to do some preparation for that. My fiance decided we needed to have a special lunch to celebrate, and who can blame her when we have a cat as awesome as ours.
I also recognized something else, as well, about my writing today, as well as last night, which is that it can be a truly positive mood enhancer for me. Feeling that I have accomplished something, by writing, makes many other things that might trouble me feel far less important. I don't mean the major stuff, but the small things that might otherwise bother me more. Minor irritations of life that might momentarily upset me, but then I will write, not even anything connected, and just doing so changes my perspective and mood.
In part, it is that I do enjoy writing itself. Playing with language is an entertaining thing to do, and creating new ways of putting the words together on the page can be a thrill for me. As can discovering character and theme and even events in the story. It is all playful, even if it is still work. It is a pleasure for me, so it does make me happier that I have written. Realizing this is a huge thing, and it is a part of creating an understanding of my own need to keep producing work.
As well, though, their is that deeper layer of self-fulfillment. I am certain that I am capable of writing at a level that I am proud of, and I believe that what I write has the potential to be important in some way for others in the world. As such, I feel a strong sense of fulfillment in writing, even knowing that the work is just, at present, for myself. I don't believe that it will be for me, really, but that I am currently in the process of developing the work in isolation is fine.
The point is more that when I work I feel that I am contributing and moving towards a positive change. I am achieving my goals, even if not yet in any way external to myself. This is also why I am obsessed at present with the word count. While it is a purely technical tool for rating my progress, one that takes nothing but my proficiency with the physical act, albeit in connection to the speed of my composition, it does not make sense to judge a writer by this metric.
At the same time, though, in terms of the internal method of rating progress, it is useful for me to feel that I am achieving at a certain rate. First, it is one of the only metrics that does not relate to the actual content, and I don't wish to attempt to judge my own content at present, as the act of getting work done is the important thing to me, right at this moment. As well, the practical truth of writing so quickly is a factor in my thoughts. If I believed that I would be so slow as to not be able to complete a novel in less than a decade, each one is precious. It puts great pressure upon them, and does not allow for the potential to experiment in terms of distribution, for example.
As well, I can't believe that if I were to write four or five novels (assuming things continue as they do) in a short period, that I would not be quite good at writing them by the end, and probably have at least one that would be ready to go. I do not mean this in a way of suggesting that I am a genius, but that by writing many novels fast, I would imagine I would have to become better at it as well. It is only natural that we improve such skills through repetition.
Today, too, I thought through the first chapter of W/R in terms of how I wish to revise it. I plan to get into that in the morning, but I have a good outline of what I wish to do in mind already. In part, it is to bring back some information lost earlier, but it is also to help establish the desire of the protagonist in a more overt way.
Over all, I feel quite happy with my work and progress today. Tomorrow is my cat, Ulysses' birthday, so I am going to head off now to do some preparation for that. My fiance decided we needed to have a special lunch to celebrate, and who can blame her when we have a cat as awesome as ours.
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