Would That I Might

As I alluded to last night, I've had a run of pretty good stories the last week or so.  I believe that a large part of this is due to my having sort of recognized something about the types of ideas that work for me as stories, that catch my imagination and come to life in some way.  I do think that a part of it is about the absurdity of it, about the idea of twisting something in a direction that is unexpected or even non-sensical.  Often, once I have a premise that gets me interested, all I really need to do is start thinking about it and I am off.  I still need to develop my ability to think up premises, but I am doing better than I had been and feel like I am close to the point I was aiming towards, where I would be able to get myself to the same place of writing stories almost on demand in the same way that I am able to write poetry.

There could be more There was more before, has been more, so why not?  It is  at least a thing to consider, not that it wasn't or never has been. It may be time, things may be different and the factors may differ from how they were. It is worth considering. Even the fact it has come to mind suggests there is meaning, or a desire, maybe, if not a need.

I am going to keep this short.  It's another late night and I am tired and ready to get to bed.  I feel like I really am learning to push myself in terms of the stories that I am writing, but I know saying that is kind of a jinx, so I will pull it back and say that I was able, tonight, to get myself into the right headspace and come up with an idea on the fly, and I am happy about that.  I hope it is a skill I am learning and can rely upon again and again.

I realize what has happened There was a diversion, something went wrong, went the wrong way and arrived  where it was not intended and not at the other place where it was expected to be, and that is the problem, really. I could fix it, though it is late and I can't undo the damage of the wrongful arrival, (which is something else and concerns me in other ways  that are not relevant here) but I could make a new effort that would not go awry, I know that is not difficult. I could do it right now, or in the morning when it would be more appropriate, but I am a bit embarrassed at how long it will have been, how much later it will be than when it was expected.

I feel like I almost didn't make it up here to do my work tonight.  After dinner, I was lounging and watching a bit of television with Melissa and fell asleep for a while.  I was exhausted and I half expected that I wouldn't wake up until it was already morning.  That might have been helpful, in some ways, as I could have used it as a way to shift back towards writing in the morning, not to mention that I would be glad to sleep well for a change.  Anyhow, I woke a few hours ago and realized that I had a part of me that wasn't going to allow the rest to get back to sleep if I didn't do my writing.

It could have been pushed aside hidden away instead of shared, that is what happens so often, is the response, is the natural way to be, often.  There is fear, there is a lot of fear. That is no surprise, is it? The fear is normal, even when it is hard to name what it is responding to, what there is behind it, the thing to be afraid of. It may not be obvious, and it may not be real, is probably not real as it is conceived. But it is still there, and it guides the choices so much of the time. But then there are moments and choices, and they feel brave, but it is probably nothing anyone else will notice.

I feel like I am starting to get a better grip on the types of stories that I am best with.  I don't know if it is that they are what I am good at writing so much as it is that I enjoy telling certain types of stories more.  I don't know exactly how to describe them, but I can recognize the premises when they start to develop, and I know that I am getting closer to having a good way of talking about them, or at least a sense in my head of what they are that can guide me in coming up with new ideas for stories.  I know that a lot of them involve absurd transformations of objects or animals, including, quite often, some kinds of anthropomorphic elements, and that these things tend to be used in ways that are not there normal context.  I think that these elements tend to exist in my story in ways that don't have explanations, that they are not expected or accepted as normal, but they still have just happened and that is all there is to it.